the importance of having accountability

For anyone, having accountability for any situation whether big or small is important. For people to know that they have support all around them no matter what time or place. For me I never really knew the importance of accountability until it was offered to me. Whether it's teachers, family or friends it's always a very humbling thing at least for me. Having people who care about me and love me help me understand that I am worthy of positivity and support of other people. 

The most accountability and the most understanding from others have been through an online platform. I don't really give my family or my friends who I haven't met online the chance to see who I really am as far as vulnerability goes. For me it is easier to express my vulnerability whether it's as happy and light as excitement or as dark and embarrassing as discussing my mental illnesses and my personal journaling platforms whether it's seen through my poetry, many pages of journals stuffed in my drawers or where I am posting this. My blog. 

I have met many people through the internet and it has brought me a source of accountability. It's amazing when you are going through things and you think you are the only one going through them but in reality you never know who is struggling with what. Having accountability personally for me has been a really freeing experience. Freeing in the sense that I can be honest. I am able to express when I'm struggling but also my high points. I am able to relate to what these people have gone through and it such a validating thing to know you are not crazy. For many years I was trying to find validation through negativity on the internet such as scrolling through thinspiration and scrolling through tags on tumblr that were not helping me in the slightest. 

As I've gotten older I become more aware of the effects of scrolling through that negativity. It has led me to the wonderful people I have met and the amazing and relatable source of accountability and tolerance. 

I encourage all of you who are struggling with anything to reach out to places or people who make you feel the most comfortable. Whether it's doctors, therapists, family or people who are states away or even countries. It is so comforting and validating to have that sense of nurturance and accountability. It has helped me explore the deepest parts of myself and ask myself questions that I promised I would never delve into because it came at the cost of me losing my identity. Having people who understand you above all has helped me the most and made me feel like I'm not in this problem alone and I can't explain to you how freeing that feeles.