possible trigger warning mentions past traumas
Yesterday I went to Walgreens to get a sketchbook for my drawing class. Why I signed up for that class is beyond me. To my luck they of course didn't have any so I thought I would spend my money anyway because I'm a spender :). Anyway I was turning the corner and I saw a very familiar face and that face turned out to be one of my teachers from 7th grade. She was one of the nicer ones.
Even if she was nice to me which she was, it kind of caught me off guard. I payed for the stuff that I bought and zipped out of there. When I got in my car I started shaking a little bit to be honest. Some people might think it's odd to be scared of seeing a past teacher but in the time in my life where she was in was not pleasant in the least.
I got this wave of anxiety running through me as soon as I recognized her face. I didn't realize how much it really affected me until last night. All of a sudden all of these memories started to come up and it really scared me.
I feel like a baby even mentioning this because shouldn't I be over something that happened 4 1/2 years ago?
I am over it but I also think it affects me more than I even realize. During that time I was pretty severely bullied by students and adults, I was emotionally and verbally abused among other things. I was in a very very vulnerable place emotionally. That year I got diagnosed with depression, anxiety and PDDNOS (autism spectrum disorder) and began to see my first therapist. Also my best friend at the time moved which was pretty hard for me to say the least.
Every time I see one of my old teachers, not that I see them often but my brother who is in 8th grade goes to the same middle school and I take him to school in the mornings so unfortanetly I've had to see a couple. I haven't seen the teacher that was extremely verbally abusive which I have no idea how I would react if I saw him again.
I started crying in the shower... I don't really know what to think of it.
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