Permanent solution to a temporary problem... RIP Lauren :(

Like it says in the title, Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problem. My mom is a principal in my district of an elementary school and the north side is where I go to school and there's also a south side which is the side my mom works and a girl who was in 8th grade, the day of her 8th grade graduation she killed herself. I don't know if my mom had her in her school but I guess she knows because she works on the south side and that's the middle school she went to. There's I think 3 elementary schools on each side as well and 2 middle school and high schools. Anyway sorry I just wanted to make it less confusing because of privacy I will not say any of the schools.

My mom knew a little bit but not really a lot but like I said her name's Lauren and she had depression and from what my mom told me it seemed like she just couldn't find a way out of her pain and she just wanted it to stop. It really hits home to me because I was just 5 months before my 8th grade graduation in that exact same place and It actually hit me really hard because it was almost like seeing myself and I could relate to her in the fact that she couldn't find a way out of her own pain. I don't know her situation at all but just because she was in that much pain she felt like killing herself was the only solution, that in and of itself is something that i'm very familiar with.

I'm not going to say much about what my mom told me because I never know who see's this blog and just to be safe i'm going to respect her family and I don't know what's safe to say and what not so I'm not going to go into what my mom told me. What my mom did say though was that kids when they make that kind of decision they don't understand how permanent suicide is which is true but at the same time when your in that place you honestly think you have no escape and you will never get better because your pain has been with you for years and I know this isn't really a great example but its' sort of like when you break a bone and you have a cast and you've had it on for say 3 months, it's really hard to imagine yourself without that cast because you've had it for so long.

Obviously depression and a broken bone are totally different that's just the first example that came to mind :)

I remember what it felt like to be in that mental hospital and being in that van where the nurses came to pick me up because my mom couldn't personally take me for some reason and I remember just being in there with bullet proof, tented doors and just crying in that backseat and thinking to myself "what the fuck am I doing here". I think that's when it really hit me when I was in the transportation car and sitting out in the waiting room and my mom and therapist at the time were talking and figuring out what to do with me.

I know there's a lot of stigma on suicide and the link with depression but the only thing that I can say is people who have attempted, succeeded suicide or are having suicidal thoughts is those people who really honestly can't find a way out of their pain and honestly ending your life seems peaceful almost. Suicide isn't a cowardly thing, it's just somebody who is crying for help and can't find a way out of their pain.