Sad

My grandpa the best grandpa in the world (I know everyone says that about their family members but it's true!) he's the sweetest most amazing man and I'm so happy I got the privilege to call him my grandpa.

Last night I went to my aunts house to kindof get together and support eachother and I love spending time with my family. I don't have to act a certain way around them I'm just me and I like that.

My dad and all his brothers just came up last night cause the doctor said he might go tonight we just don't know and he didn't but I'm just anxiously waiting for any info. Every phone call my heart stops like last night my grandma (my moms mom) called at 5 in the morning! To check on my grandpa and I love her for it I know her heart was In the right place but she's definitely not in the best head space at all. I love her but dude pick your timing!

When I heard that phone ring my heart immediately skipped a best cause no one calls in the middle of the night unless something happened and ugh! But ya know I love her though if I was my dad I would've been pissed! But he wasn't he was nice of course but anyway yeah.

And then today 1st hour at like 8:15 someone called my resource teacher and it sounded like about me like she said "okay we'll get her caught up" "we'll be thinking of you" and I thought it was about me and when I said was that for me? She snapped at me and said it was none of your business. I mean yeah I probably was in the wrong but I'm so anxious cause I know he's gonna die and I don't want him to suffer anymore. Everyone thinks that he's holding on for people that aren't ready to say goodbye and we explained to my grandma that ya know if it's his time to go he can go. Like he's waiting permission from all of us and none of us want him to think that.

I love spending time with my extended family, it definitely got our minds off of everything but there were tears which was expected but I kept it together which was kindof surprising myself that I didn't because I was holding back tears when we were all together around the kitchen to hear what he's going through now. But seeing my cousin cry broke my heart cause I never see her cry. I don't think I could handle seeing my dad cry I've literally only seen him cry maybe 2 times since I've been born and I hate seeing my parents cry it's so sad :(

So yes that is my day so far. I will update tomorrow or later when I hear more.

By everyone! :)