Stuck at 13 years old (written a couple weeks ago)

I was watching a video on YouTube of this woman's feelings and thoughts of being stuck at 14 years old. I am subscribed to her and am a religious watcher. I knew what I was experiencing with my "dreams" so to speak were normal and I just adapted to them. As more as I thought about it I realized that I was experiencing something very similar to her.

From a young age I'd say about 5th grade I noticed something strange in my thinking. I don't really know how to explain them except for them being like a daydream. At the time I was 13 years old which was in 7th grade when my trauma began. At that point my dreams were stuck in 7th grade and they still haven't gone away 5 years later. I'm not really anywhere near that part of my life anymore but they're still there, stuck in that place in my life.

I've been in therapy for years but I never gotten to address said trauma which is why I think these dreams have kept occurring for so long. The interesting part about it though is that these dreams or thoughts I guess you would say only really occur when I'm in motion such as cartwheeling, running or even driving a car.

I looked up online what I have been experiencing for so long because of this video that I watched. I knew it wasn't just me. The first thing that came up was something called maladaptive daydreaming. When I clicked on it everything that I have been experiencing was apart of the maladaptive daydreaming defenition. I thought that was really really interesting.

Honestly I was in shock. I just thought it was just me so I just dealt with it but I almost have it confirmed or somewhat of a realization that the reason why my "dreams" are stuck at when I was 13 years old is almost 100% caused by trauma and negative things that I've experienced that I've never really addressed.

That video really opened my eyes and made me realize that what I'm experiencing goes much deeper than I ever took the time to fully realize.