Hey guys I haven't updated in a while and I feel bad that I haven't updated much. I really do want to get better at this whole blogging thing because I really do enjoy it.
What I want to talk about today is a video I saw on my YouTube feed. I don't know if any of you know her but her YouTube name is Educating shanny obviously by the title of the post. I've been watching her videos for a couple months now and have absolutely fell in love with them. A couple videos back, the video's called "much needed ugly cry eating disorder update" or a title similar to that. She's been bulimic for 27 years and she is 31 years old now.
In the result of her bulimia she has lost many teeth and the remaining teeth that she still has are quickly deteriorating. Therefore she needs them all to be removed. Her sister recently set up a GoFundMe account specifically for the cost of getting Shannon's teeth removed as well as the cost for permanent dentures. Earlier that day she went to see the dentist which was what primarily the video was about and some things that she said really stood out to me. She primarily started her channel to let young people understand the dangers and the overall harsh reality of eating disorders. She was saying in her video how you don't want to get where she is at. She's 31 years old and has to have dentures because of bulimia.
I don't personally struggle with bulimia. I have in the past, when I was 14. In high school was where the anorexia became a real problem for me. It doesn't matter which one you have. They are all deadly. They all ruin your life in ways that you thought were just innocent ways of gaining control. Right when she started crying I myself started to sob. Not only because she was sad but because I KNOW first hand how she feels. I know what it's like to have a demon become so attached on to you that you feel hopeless to stop it. I was crying with her because I also had the scary realization that I know, whether I want to believe it or not that I too can have complications from anorexia. I have already. It scares me because it such a powerful disease. I can't stop this on my own.
For so long I thought I was invincible to all the problems that other people had with their eating disorders. These past couple of years I have realized that I am not invincible. I am not special in the fact that nothing bad can happen to me because it CAN. That is the scariest part of this illness. When you get to the point where it's no longer a matter of choice. A choice of whether to eat that meal or purge it or whatever. It gets to a point where you no longer have a choice. You no longer have a say of "Ok this is getting a little crazy I think I should stop now." It doesn't work that way.
Once that thought seeps through your head it's already too late. You're stuck and it's a bitch to get out of. I wish we were all invincible to the statistics of death and the hospital admissions but we are not. My point of this post is to mainly express my thoughts on this but to as well let you all know that this is a terrifying illness to get caught up into. This is what Shanny so deeply wants others to realize when you watch her videos.
We want to protect others because we both know as well as many others know how awful and desperate your life can soon turn into. This post isn't meaning to scare anyone. I just want you all to know if you're thinking about going down this road whether it's for emotional or physical comfort. It's not worth it. It really isn't worth it.
If you want to check out Shanny's GoFundMe page I will link it down below. She needs all the help she can get guys!
https://www.gofundme.com/Shanny'sTeethFund
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