As you all know I am officially a senior in high school. Honestly I don't even know what to think about it, of course I feel kind of accomplished but more so I am scared to death of the fact that this is my last year of childhood. I turn 18 in August and that's just crazy to me. 18 is a legal adult but I like to think I'm still a teenager until I turn 20.
I don't want to become an adult. It scares the shit out of me. Not only for the obvious fact of growing up but part of me rethinks all the things I've been through and just feeling like I need to start over. Obviously I can't do that. Nor would I want to at all but I can't help but rethink all that I've done and all that I've been through negatively. I almost feel like I'm growing up too fast. I feel like my physical body is forcing me to grow up as well as obviously biologically and my mind is trying to pull back but my body just keeps fighting back to keep moving forward.
Does that make sense? I'm not saying that I regret or want to redo anything that I've been through but I feel like my childhood is soon to be over and I want at least a little bit of my teenager hood to be positive. I don't know if this makes sense.
If anybody can piece this together and maybe understand what I'm trying to say because I feel like this doesn't make sense at all.
The long and the short of it is I'm terrified to make adult decisions/just simply becoming an adult. Obviously I know I can't go back in time but part of me wants to just to have a little bit more time to get my shit together.
I'm sorry for this post. This probably doesn't make sense.
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