Continuation from the last post

I kind of got cut off but I wanted to publish it because I didn't want to forget and then it would be too late to post it to make sense lol :)

Anyway so yeah I left off talking about how i'm feeling some sort of nostalgia I guess you could say surrounding the "anniversary" and I don't really know how to explain it in a way that makes sense.

At the same time since all these years have gone by, I feel like i'm stuck in quicksand regarding how my life is going. The last 3 years I've obviously grown and changed a lot with having 3 years of highschool under my belt but concerning my emotional stability, nothing has really changed. Maybe in 8th grade those feelings were obviously heightened to a certain degree considering the situation but the feelings of self-doubt, self-consciousness, experimenting with food as a way to numb myself. 3 years later nothing has changed in regards to how I'm feeling.

I can say though that getting out of the school I was in was defenitely a highlight which allowed me to get away from certain people and emotions that surrounded that school but I guess I thought getting out of school would allow me to get rid of the things that I was coping with by being in that school. Now I'm realizing that it was more than coping with the terrifying past emotions that I was dealing with but the things that you use to cope even if it's just a short period, it attaches onto you like a tick and by then you already are under it's spell.