I have a post from last year that I will have a link to but this year I feel really reflective on this time in my life and I want to add my thoughts today to what I wrote a year ago. Today is December 8th so 3 years ago it was a Saturday, I remember because I got out on Friday. After I got out, I don't really remember what I did after that, I had my phone taken away and I don't think I got my phone back until later. Getting my phone taken away was a whole other punishment in itself without the fact that I couldn't have my phone while in the hospital. I'm not going into that whole thing though, that's a whole other story.
I have all the details from how I got admitted in my post from a year ago so I'm not going to repeat it but like I said this time of year brings up a lot of feelings in general for me, it's where I got myself into a situation I found myself caught in and couldn't get out of it without revealing the truth that I was trying to desperately to hide.
I'm nostalgic in some ways, it's crazy to think I miss the strict confines of a hospital but I do. I never kept in touch with the people I was in there with but I remember them and I miss the free flowing air in the room. We were all in the same boat which gave me a sense of comfort that I never experienced before, everyone there knew what I was going through and one thing I didn't have to do was: HIDE. I didn't need to, I was safe. I don't feel safe in the outside world. It's too vulnerable, too big, too scary.
That's all I really have to say, I'm getting ready to leave for lunch. If any of you want me to elaborate I will be glad to, I most likely will end up doing so anyway.
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