Working parents during summer with an eating disorder

I thought I would write about this because it's something that I've been struggling with and I thought it would help any of you who have the same situation as me or close to it.

My dad works year round and my mom since she's a principal works until the middle of June and goes back early August. My mom gets her about 1 1/2 month break off on June 22nd I believe or I think that's what it was last year and she goes back August 1st I think. My brothers and I are home alone during the weekdays until June 22nd. Anyway I don't really have anything to do within that time like I do have a couple people I could hangout with but i'm hesitant on that just because their kindof new people that have came into my life just recently and especially with possible budding friendships because it takes me awhile to warm up to people.

My brothers are busy this summer with all their activities and stuff which is completely fine but at the same time I haven't found something that I like to do like activities and things like that but I will be going to a blogging one day learning class where you get to learn more about blogging and designs and things like that so I can make my blog more interesting for you guys!

Anyway onto the topic that I actually want to talk about... It's really hard being alone all day or pretty much all day and I've found myself really struggling with eating because with me I find it not acceptable unless i'm shaking, feeling like i'm going to pass out or physically having the need for food or I have the option for food meaning my parents or somebody offers me food. I know it's completely irrational and I don't know if i'm the only one who thinks this but I've had this rule in my head since forever. I feel like i'm doing something bad if I give myself the option of getting food if just out of my own choice without "needing" to, does that make sense?

 That rule I have it has been making it hard not having the structure of food schedules that I had during school, not really structure but I always at least half of what my mom packed me for lunch because she thought that when she packed me lunch I would actually eat it. Little does she know that, that's not exactly true.

I obviously eat for what my body physically needs but eating food without "permission" is a no no for me. I always have this weird thing during the weekends meaning the summer now, I only allow myself to eat past noon. I don't know where that thought came from but it's another rule I have. I also have a hard time eating past the time my parents get home until dinner. I have all of these rules and to be honest it's kind of overwhelming to have all these "rules" and if you god for bid don't follow them the voice in my head never shuts up and continues to plague my mind with thoughts about my body and weight and crap.

If anyone who has eating problems while you're alone I defenitely empathize with you!