One year anniversary: My Grandpa's death

Today January 29th 2015 is the one year anniversary of my grandpa's death, my dad's dad. His mom died of breast cancer when he was in his early 20's i think, my mom never got to meet her unfortunately. My dad says we would all love her and it's sad that we never got to meet her but she would love us so much... When my dad and I were talking alone last night talking about the party we're going to have a "reflection" period of my grandpa with just my 2 uncles which are my dad's brothers and my cousins are coming over also, it'll be good.

We're having hamburgers for dinner and most likely other things and my families bringing over some other things so i'm kind of anxious about it but i'm a little over half a pound from my lowest weight when i got home from school i weighed 94 pounds. My grandpa never knew about any of my problems except for maybe when i went to the mental hospital i honestly don't know but my parents told some of my extended family and ya know of course they talk, anyway i'm trying to not be as anxious for him because i know he would want me to eat and not feel guilty about it.

Something that has stuck with me ever since my dad and I were talking about him, while he was in his house while he was in hospice care in his own home before he quickly died... he told my dad....to take care of our miracle baby.... i kind of get choked up when i think about it because i knew he always loved me more than words can explain but actually hearing that from my dad was just crazy to me. I don't think I spent enough time with him when he was healthy which is most likely just me over thinking it but yeah I was never close with my mom's mom and dad because they were never really in our lives and aren't really anymore.

The thing i will never forget when my grandpa (dad's dad) wanted to take my brothers and I to a movie and i remember him literally not being able to walk walking down the aisles at the same time when i look back at it now i'm really appreciative because my mom's side would never do that even when they're both healthy.

Anyway, i hope he's proud of me, of all of us.

I love you grandpa Jack... forever and always :)