Add on to how ED's affect your life

I forgot that I added more to my post in writing and I forgot to write it on here :) 

I'm just going to start where I left off.

My days are no longer simple and free-spirited. They are thoughts controlling me and every day is all planned out until my head hits the pillow at night. My life revolves around my eating disorder, sometimes I like it to be honest because focusing on the number on the scale and how much I exercise and focusing on food is so much easier than dealing with the realities of life. I wonder what it's like to not have an eating disordered brain, from my knowledge they are very free-spirited and happy. How do I become happy? How do I get rid of the thoughts in my head?