Journal entry: August 28th 2014

Some people say you choose where you want to go in life, others say life takes you. Sooner or later you realize your perception is wrong. From my experiences both are true, you don't really take life by the reins and go and be whatever and wherever you're supposed to. Then here comes the other theory, you just let life gradually take you from place to place and then you automatically just find out wherever you're going to end up. They are both equal in a stable environment but then you suddenly realize you end up going with one or the other and you are frightened that you won't be able to stop the way your living and changing your mindset to incorporate both theories in your daily life which in my experience i find this to be as if i'm in the slavery times, comforting which in the eyes of a normal functioning human being ins one of the craziest thing you could state. This is when you find yourself wondering why you can't just be normal. Having control over life is important to people who wonder into the deep sea of hell which in the beginning you start slow, dipping your toes in than suddenly you have this huge urge to jump into this level of destruction. Here's the catch you can't get out. As long and as hard as you try you will have to be on deaths door starving cold and scared for anyone to realize you're stuck and you can't get out without help.