poems

I wonder

what will happen next

walking on eggshells

to my next destination

constantly wonder

what will happen

fear and constant wonder

to experiment with

it will all be okay

as long as we don't let fear wonder

into our minds

everything will be okay

 

 

 

We all love the term starting over

seem to be what we all crave

what will happen to everything else?

everything we created is all lost

why would we want to start over?

our mistakes teach us

what it means to grow

into a more wiser human being

starting over

erases all your hard work

in trying to survive

 

 

 

I guess everything isn't what it seems

no one knows what it's like

to live with a monster in your head

screaming, shouting, crying

to escape the demons in my head

stuck in the mindset

that everything isn't what it seems

 

 

 

We feel numb to the things we see

over and over again

i'm numb to the feeling of comfort

destruction is comforting

therefore

i'm numb to the fact

that this could very well take me

the only thing that comes to mind

is a strong desire to comfort

so used to numbing my emotions

by bones and a scale

that seems to be with me

the moment I can open my eyes

and see the sunlight through my bedroom window

the lingering thought in the back of my mind

my subconscious very well knows

I cannot be like this forever

I will soon discover what it's like

to take the wool off my eyes

with my eyes open

to learn to be content

with living happy and healthy

soon figuring out

that I no longer

need a reason to numb

the thing I thought was horrifying

happens to be thing that

unlocks the change

from a life praying for my last breath

my last sentence would be

"At least i'm finally skinny"

 

 

 

You can feel the heaviness

on your chest

feeling like you can hardly breathe

to what comes over you

when you realized you skipped another meal

it's a normal thing nowadays

wakeup, foods there

go to bed, having nightmares

about slowly letting go of the control you have

having a little bit more of something

that once had been forbidden

you can feel the pain when you starve yourself

that's why some people like it

inflicting pain on yourself

is much much easier

than anyone or anything

it gives you the power to say no

 

 

 

Searching for a higher power

seems to be what we all seek

nothing compares

to everlasting love

as long as we try

we will be saved

 

 

 

Where do I go from here?

everyone seems to wonder

what their next destination

will turn out to be

destinations are unplanned

they're many people who fear

their unexpected destination