6 months self-harm free

I wanted to write this as somewhat of a reminder to myself and to you guys how far I've come in regards to self-harm. I made it 6 months self-harm free! By my last few posts you would know that I relapsed. Even though I did slip up, I still made it to 6 months and honestly I'm really friekeing proud of myself. As I should be.

I have NEVER gone this long before. I started cutting when I was 13 so for 4 years now I have NEVER made it this long and it's a HUGE deal to me! I remember when I couldn't even go a month without cutting and then 3 months, 4 and now 6.

Yes I did relapse so unfortanetly I have to start over but it's now lodged in my head as a goal of 7 months and that has never seemed a possibility before. Let me just say, it was really hard for me to get here. I thought numerous times, fuck it I can't handle this you know? Instead I waited it out and the urge passed. I now know that I am capable of suppressing the urge and that in itself is a big deal to me.

I had many fleeting thoughts as well but like I said, they were fleeting. Those two times where I was having a really hard time I honestly didn't think I could make it. Making it this long was really fucking hard and making it another month seems daunting.

I can only do my best. I didn't feel as bad and/or guilty this time around with relapsing because I made it to my goal and that's what I was aiming for and that's a really big deal to me!