Random ramble

In someways I know I am strong but I also am very weak when it comes to myself. I'm mentally strong but also I'm weak that I can't imagine being able to get myself back up. It's okay to have these differences as much as I see weakness as a sign of not being able to show people I'm strong. 

I have no idea if this is making sense or even where I'm going with this, I don't want people to see me as weak or like I'm not able to handle the responsibilities given to me. Being able to show others the side of me that I rarely even have the strength to show myself. 

Physically and mentally I know I try to stay strong or make it seem so, and I defenitely think that's a big chunk of the reason that my self-destruction is so well hidden at least my thoughts are. I don't like to cry in front of people, I don't think I view it as neccesarily a sign of weakness but it's like drawing unwanted attention towards myself and I don't feel worthy of having people see my pain through tears. 

Just something I was thinking about and wanted to write about it.