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Monday, March 9, 2015

Being threatened



A couple days ago i got threatened by my mom to take away the scale and take it to her school (she's a principal) because i weigh myself multiple times a day and i was complaining to her how TW I gained 4 pounds after i worked out strenuously and drank 30-40 ounces of water that day so i was confused as to why i gained that much weight in a short period of time but of course i dropped 4 pounds when i woke up the next morning.

So I told my mom what happened and she tried to calmly talk some sense into me and she told me since i have barely any body fat it automatically turns into muscle which weighs more. Actually muscle doesn't weigh more than fat, muscle is denser than fat. First of all i have noticeable love handles so i know i have some unnecessary fat on me.

Later i brought it up again non directly, i was with both of my parents at the time and that's when my mom started to get mad and saying how i was too obsessive then my dad estimated my weight by what i looked like and he said TW 90 pounds, i was kind of shocked he guessed right, off by a few pounds but still i weigh 2 pounds more than what he estimated. I hate being threatened especially when it comes to my ED.

She said if she catches me weighing myself more than once a day she's taking the scale away. She has never seen the number on the scale but anyone can tell when i'm in the bathroom and you hear my clothes rubbing against my thighs. She's smart enough by now to know what i'm doing. It's so stupid cause no one uses the scale but me but both my parents refuse to let me have it even if i'm the only one that uses it, i'm serious if i never used it it would be covered with dust but they have it in their bathroom.

She said awhile ago why she won't let me have it, in her words because i'm too obsessed as it is and she was like "you know i'm right don't you?" and i said yes. I do understand where she's coming from but it still doesn't make me feel any better about the thought of getting rid of it. 

I know she does care about me but I don't feel like I'm at rock bottom nor am I physically in danger. 

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