Bulimic?

Yesterday i had a therapy session and i left more confused than i did walking in. Crazy is a word we loosely categorize people as. Everyone has their own type of crazy but what happens when your kind of crazy becomes dangerous?

On my blog i'm very candid about my issues with food and weight, i find it easier and less threatening to type the word eating disorder rather than saying it out loud because it's seems more real to me to say it out loud. i rarely verbally admit that i have an eating disorder because those two words carry so much meaning and i almost don't feel worthy of the title because i'm not visibly sick.

I'm barely underweight (trigger warning) BMI 18.2. Healthy BMI is 18.5 I think alot of people would relate to me when i say if i talk to my family/friends about this stuff they would identify me as crazy. I don't want to plagued as the girl who is shy and weak, i want to be known as the girl who is strong and brave. I left my my therapists office thinking about the term bulimia and what that word entails. I never identified myself as having anorexia or bulimia, just someone who was experimenting with the two, playing it safe, testing the boundaries of starvation. Switching my behaviors once they became noticeable.

I feel like a fraud. I just want to be thin. How hard is that for people to understand?