april 18th

Quote- "Be here now" RAM DASS

Demi's words- All we have is now. I've learned that after doing so many functions and performances and barely remembering them, it's because I wasn't living in the moment. I wasn't present in what I was doing.

Goal- Set aside all distractions, come out from behind your phone or computer, and enjoy the moment for exactly what it is.

With my eating disorder I am more focused on food and weight more than anything, I remember when my mom wanted me to watch a show with her and I turned it down because I "needed" to exercise and I knew if I sat to watch a 2 hour movie I wouldn't be at all focused on watching the movie I would be having anxiety about burning enough calories in the time limit I set for myself. My demons keep me from living in the moment of anything, when i'm with my friends I do live in the moment because i'm distracted from my demons but as soon as I go home reality sets in and my demons take full force yet again. I can't live in the moment with my eating disorder there's no possible way, I get anxiety wen I don't burn calories right away therefore I can't live in the moment of whatever i'm doing. The only time i'm living in the moment and i'm too busy or distracted from focusing on my eating disorder is when i'm having fun with family or friends or on vacation but as soon as it's over, my demons start to flood stronger than ever.