Thin

I just so badly want to be thin enough that people will start to worry about my health. Is that sick? I know the answer to that but I can't help the thoughts from bombarding my mind with such vain, irrational thoughts. I got a comment said to me today that secretly made me so happy because other people are finally are able to see my self-control.

Or it's being able to show my pain on the outside how horrible I feel on the inside. I just want somebody to ask if I'm okay but are smart enough to see past the lies.  I'm okay on the outside but on the inside there is this ongoing war in my head trying to achieve the act of slowly killing me.

My soul goes first then the rest follows. I believe I am thin but I can ALWAYS be thinner! Always.

( once again written about a week ago but found, this is the last one I promise)