Anxiety ramblings

I don't think teachers understand how hard it is to have a raging/mental illness that won't fucking go away no matter how happy you try to be or ways to ease the ongoing crippling anxiety that won't leave me the fuck alone. Nothing is working and it's actually really scary and it's even scarier that I can't control what's going on around me. Not being able to control is yourself and your emotions is actually really scary. I don't even want to complain because most of the people in this world don't have half of what I have.

They should be the ones who are struggling because they actually have a reason which is why it's hard to even admit to those around me because I don't think they understand why I'm having such a hard time because I myself have a hard time understanding why I feel the way I do. My resource teacher sprung on me today that I'm switching classes and the people are nice in that class but my 6th hour classmates are a thousand times better but I have a para in there so I guess It's a lose lose situation. I don't want to admit that I hate that class because then everyone will have to accommodate again to me and that's more than what they would want to do for me I'm sure.

After this part I didn't really follow the same topic at all so I'm going to put what I wrote a couple days ago and today in another post. Check out the other post!